Mountain air.

Mountain air.

Dear Manufacturer of Burton Snow Clothing,
I wish to complain about the snow pants advertised in your brochure as featuring “extra tight elastic to keep your buns and bits toasty warm in the toughest conditions”

As you can see from the attached photo, my pants elastic failed at a critical moment, as I attempted an innocent fully-dressed selfie for Facebook, leaving me cold and dangerously exposed.

Regards,
Mr N. Foris
Former leader of the Girl Scout Climbing Group
Dear Manufacturer of Burton Snow Clothing,

I wish to complain about the snow pants advertised in your brochure as featuring “extra tight elastic to keep your buns and bits toasty warm in the toughest conditions”

As you can see from the attached photo, my pants elastic failed at a critical moment, as I attempted an innocent fully-dressed selfie for Facebook, leaving me cold and dangerously exposed.

Regards,

Mr N. Foris

Former leader of the Girl Scout Climbing Group
The rain has stopped and the sun is out!
All my clothes are out on the line…

The rain has stopped and the sun is out!
All my clothes are out on the line…

Demonstrating the correct way to warm yourself up in front of the fire after getting soaked taking dogs out for a walk having left your jacket behind as it didn’t look that bad.

Demonstrating the correct way to warm yourself up in front of the fire after getting soaked taking dogs out for a walk having left your jacket behind as it didn’t look that bad.

Oh, it’s going to do more than tickle!

Oh, it’s going to do more than tickle!

For Read Naked Day.
E.E. Cummings: Erotic Poems

For Read Naked Day.
E.E. Cummings: Erotic Poems

Tags: me nude reading

Bring back Summer!

It’s Winter and far too cold for these types of shenanigans.
EDIT: This was a photograph from summer, not from recently - I’m not that tough!

Bring back Summer!

It’s Winter and far too cold for these types of shenanigans.

EDIT: This was a photograph from summer, not from recently - I’m not that tough!
Winter Hay-barn nude #2

Winter Hay-barn nude #2

Like rivers, beaches, forests and you, hay-barns make my clothes come off

Like rivers, beaches, forests and you, hay-barns make my clothes come off

If you should find me sleeping:

Come and sit astride me like this
Your legs pinning my flesh and bone
There’s a bump there 
You would fit so well, so well

Take what you want
Leave a trail of silver on my hip
Warm and wet 
from your hidden molten mine

And when you are done
When you jerk and fall
I will catch you, put you on your back
And make you gasp.

If you should find me sleeping:

Come and sit astride me like this
Your legs pinning my flesh and bone
There’s a bump there
You would fit so well, so well

Take what you want
Leave a trail of silver on my hip
Warm and wet
from your hidden molten mine

And when you are done
When you jerk and fall
I will catch you, put you on your back
And make you gasp.

Tags: me nude poetry?