Waiting in barn, trying to blend in in attempt to catch the infamous hay-thief red-handed.

Note to self: needs more hay.

Waiting in barn, trying to blend in in attempt to catch the infamous hay-thief red-handed.

Note to self: needs more hay.

Detective Foris, trying to work out who has stolen all the hay from the barn and being careful not to contaminate the crime scene with clothing fibres.

Detective Foris, trying to work out who has stolen all the hay from the barn and being careful not to contaminate the crime scene with clothing fibres.

Waking up in the barn after the full moon again. Wondering where my clothes are and why I have a mouthful of feathers.
I have no recollection of going to the drag club at all…

Waking up in the barn after the full moon again. Wondering where my clothes are and why I have a mouthful of feathers.

I have no recollection of going to the drag club at all…

Tags: me nude

Blood moon for those of you with cloud cover tonight.

Just so you don’t miss out on any arsetronomical events.

Blood moon for those of you with cloud cover tonight.

Just so you don’t miss out on any arsetronomical events.

Hay barn, black and white.

Hey my-wanton-self, just a quick snap of me and a few friends out at the nude beach similar to the one you went to the other day without me.

I hope you got the invite and are not still at work?

Mads is looking after the cake, I have just told Helena one of my hilarious anecdotes and am looking for Robert Downey Jr’s cuff-links which fell in the sand when he ripped off his clothes to jump into the water.

Hey my-wanton-self, just a quick snap of me and a few friends out at the nude beach similar to the one you went to the other day without me.

I hope you got the invite and are not still at work?

Mads is looking after the cake, I have just told Helena one of my hilarious anecdotes and am looking for Robert Downey Jr’s cuff-links which fell in the sand when he ripped off his clothes to jump into the water.

Rise and shine!

Rise and shine!

ACC Case #201433: Bruised buttocks

Accident Compensation Corporation
Government House
Wellington

30/9/14

Dear Mr. Foris,
With reference to your letter dated 29 Sept, I’m afraid we cannot accept your claim for $1,000,000 for “a broken arse and damaged pride”, and return your photo here:


We can find no evidence for your claim of “extensive bruising and soft tissue damage” and find your explanation for your injury - that you ran backwards into a tree while attempting a “triple toe-loop lay-up in a basketball game” to be highly doubtful.

While we have no doubt the children present may have laughed long and hard, we feel this, and the mental anguish thus caused, is something you should have gotten used to by now.

Your suggested compensation of 2 weeks on a South Pacific Island having your buttocks “oiled and tenderly massaged by triplet Bulgarian arse therapists” appears to have little medical justification. I return your photo of these ladies also here:


We ask you to please stop sending photos and videos of your buttocks, and if you follow up on your suggestion of “coming to the office to show everyone” we will call security.

Regards,

Dr. Eam-on

Senior Claim Investigator

ACC

Nude, tired of waiting for God and attempting to create self.

Nude, tired of waiting for God and attempting to create self.

Tags: me nude

Finding a sunny patch to lie in while working from home and hoping not to be disturbed by anyone coming up the path.

Actually, well dressed and uninvited visitors: according to Genesis this IS the way Jehovah intended us to be witnessed…

Finding a sunny patch to lie in while working from home and hoping not to be disturbed by anyone coming up the path.

Actually, well dressed and uninvited visitors: according to Genesis this IS the way Jehovah intended us to be witnessed…

Tags: me nude