ACC Case #201433: Bruised buttocks

Accident Compensation Corporation
Government House
Wellington

30/9/14

Dear Mr. Foris,
With reference to your letter dated 29 Sept, I’m afraid we cannot accept your claim for $1,000,000 for “a broken arse and damaged pride”, and return your photo here:


We can find no evidence for your claim of “extensive bruising and soft tissue damage” and find your explanation for your injury - that you ran backwards into a tree while attempting a “triple toe-loop lay-up in a basketball game” to be highly doubtful.

While we have no doubt the children present may have laughed long and hard, we feel this, and the mental anguish thus caused, is something you should have gotten used to by now.

Your suggested compensation of 2 weeks on a South Pacific Island having your buttocks “oiled and tenderly massaged by triplet Bulgarian arse therapists” appears to have little medical justification. I return your photo of these ladies also here:


We ask you to please stop sending photos and videos of your buttocks, and if you follow up on your suggestion of “coming to the office to show everyone” we will call security.

Regards,

Dr. Eam-on

Senior Claim Investigator

ACC

Nude, tired of waiting for God and attempting to create self.

Nude, tired of waiting for God and attempting to create self.

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Finding a sunny patch to lie in while working from home and hoping not to be disturbed by anyone coming up the path.

Actually, well dressed and uninvited visitors: according to Genesis this IS the way Jehovah intended us to be witnessed…

Finding a sunny patch to lie in while working from home and hoping not to be disturbed by anyone coming up the path.

Actually, well dressed and uninvited visitors: according to Genesis this IS the way Jehovah intended us to be witnessed…

Tags: me nude

The (self) love seat is a wonderful place for lying in the sun, reading and what-have-you.

If you snuggle up there’s room for two
Would you like to lie on me
Or shall I lie on you?

The (self) love seat is a wonderful place for lying in the sun, reading and what-have-you.

If you snuggle up there’s room for two
Would you like to lie on me
Or shall I lie on you?

Good morning Sea. How cold you are!

Well hello, Nudus! But parts of me are very warm. Won’t you come out deeper?

No Sea. I have my jeans on and you will get them wet.

So take them off Nudus. Leave them on the beach. Don’t be coy, I have seen you naked (who hasn’t?) and tasted your skin.

Soon Sea, but not today. May I just paddle for a while?

Of course you may! I’m not going anywhere. Well, in and out a little perhaps. I dream of going to the moon one day but I never seem to get very far. There are seas there did you know? 
Yes I know, but not real ones, not like you. There’s nothing quite like you.

Oh. That’s rather wonderful and disappointing at the same time.


Good morning Sea. How cold you are!

Well hello, Nudus! But parts of me are very warm. Won’t you come out deeper?

No Sea. I have my jeans on and you will get them wet.

So take them off Nudus. Leave them on the beach. Don’t be coy, I have seen you naked (who hasn’t?) and tasted your skin.

Soon Sea, but not today. May I just paddle for a while?

Of course you may! I’m not going anywhere. Well, in and out a little perhaps. I dream of going to the moon one day but I never seem to get very far. There are seas there did you know?

Yes I know, but not real ones, not like you. There’s nothing quite like you.

Oh. That’s rather wonderful and disappointing at the same time.

Dresser and undresser.

Dresser and undresser.

Tags: me nude

"Good morning Mr Foris.

This is the World with your automated wake-up call.
I’m afraid “lalalala I can’t hear you” is not a valid response.

Please try again.”

"Good morning Mr Foris.

This is the World with your automated wake-up call.
I’m afraid “lalalala I can’t hear you” is not a valid response.

Please try again.”

The lesser spotted nudusforis failing at camouflage on account of not being spiky or furry enough.

The lesser spotted nudusforis failing at camouflage on account of not being spiky or furry enough.

Riverbank nude

Riverbank nude

How to get naked in a farm shed: a ten step guide.

1) Go into a farm shed
2) Take clothes off
3) Um…that’s pretty much it
4) …..
5) well, this is awkward
6) …..
7) …..
8) Oh, your shoes and socks!
9) Take those off too.
10) As you were

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